We Survived

...and I am even taking the time to blog about it! As you all know, I was beside myself about returning to work today. Not a single thing felt right about leaving my sweet Owen, and it still doesn't. Last night was probably the worst. After I put him to sleep I sobbed forever. This morning was equally as terrible when I kissed him goodbye. Mike made it halfway there and I realized I had forgotten to send the milk for O. I ended up driving to the daycare and meeting Mike in the parking lot to drop it off. I didn't go in and I am glad I made that decision.

I managed to get my sorry butt to walk through the doors of work and the day honestly was not that horrible. I got to my desk to find a goody bag from Adrienne and Kristen filled with magazines, York peppermint patties (my fave) and a picture cube filled with pics of Owen for my desk. A few short minutes later, Julie and Jenna headed down to visit me. They found me in much better condition than they anticipated, I'm sure. The only time I broke down was when I first got to my desk. Whew. A little later in the morning, I got a visit from Ashley who was in town for the day. After lunch I got a notice that I had flowers waiting for me in the lobby. My parents sent me a "big hug" bouquet filled with different purple flowers and Owen sent me a beautiful arrangement filled with all kinds of goodness. The card read, "Mommy-thanks for taking such good care of me the past twelve weeks. I love you, Owen." Tear.

At 4:30 I felt like a fugitive on the run, no joke. I couldn't wait to get out of the building and into my car. I've decided I will be taking flip flops to leave at my desk. Trying to run in 3 inch pumps was a challenge. On the way to the daycare I drove like a madwoman in anticipation of holding my baby. He was asleep when I got there and he had only eaten one ounce all day (normally eats twelve). Hopefully there will be some progress with the bottle tomorrow and throughout the remainder of the week.

When we got home, he nursed like crazy. He had the death latch on his momma-I guess he didn't forget me after all. I literally held him all night and refused to put him down, even while we ate dinner. There is not a single thing I like about only spending a couple of hours with Owen a day during the work week. I don't think that feeling will ever change. I do think the anxiety of leaving him will be better because I know he is in good hands. Thanks to everyone who called, texted, facebooked, etc. I appreciate you thinking of me. Also, a big thanks to Mike for being so supportive and helping me through this transition. Like they say, the first day is the hardest...and I am glad it is over!